Dual....:-)
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
