If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
