I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
