last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
