Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
