Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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