i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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