Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
