Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
