thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
