Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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