i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
