Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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