I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
