Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
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