When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
