How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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