how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
