I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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