Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you made out with another girl for some wings
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
