No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
