Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
