My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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