Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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