Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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