I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
