hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
