I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I party with great urgency now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
