I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
