First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
