I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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