i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why do cheetos always look like penises
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So apparently I’m into choking now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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