You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
