I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
