there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
