Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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