Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
