He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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