I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
