No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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