I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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