goodnight i made you a song goodbye
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
