i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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