Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
