READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
