In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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