I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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