Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
