i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
