The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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