i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
